When Mr. K and I became parents for the first time, no amount of reading, talking and planning prepared us for the life-changing experience of having a child. I loved everything about being a new mom but it was the most demanding job I ever had. My faith, patience, and stamina were tested daily and relentlessly. I remember saying over and over again, “Am I doing this right?!” Each time I figured out potty training, bed time routines, or discipline techniques, a new phase would come along with each child and I felt like I was learning how to parent all over again.
God met with me early in the mornings during my prayer time to give me wisdom. God encouraged me in the middle of the night when I changed and fed my babies. We had frequent meetings in the bathroom where I shut myself in to have a minute to think and breathe and pray, “Jesus, help me!” until little fingers wiggled under the door and little voices said “Mommy are you in there?” And He did help me.
Little by little my exhausted self-consciousness was chipped away and what remained was a single-minded focus: parenting with a purpose. Each day I worked on teaching the kids how to resolve conflicts, to speak kindly and work together with patience and love. I stopped thinking so much about “am I doing this right” to “how am I going to teach the kids good character?” It was a subtle but tremendously important shift in my perspective and this is what I learned. Time has a way of moving forward whether we are ready or not. Kids grow into adults with or without our best effort, and there is no guarantee of how they will turn out. Being a mom is a responsibility that needs lots of help and prayer and grace.
I hope God meets you where you are, in the chaos or the quiet of your home. He has words of wisdom and encouragement for you. This time will pass. There is no better mom than YOU for your child, so be brave! Have faith! All will be well!